Austin Duane Shanks

Our families will never be whole again. There is a missing piece, but we will go on and we will never forget that they are a part of us. Each card we send or sign will include them, either by name or by simply signing our family name, this includes our Angels. We will speak of them when we speak of any of our other children.  Just because they are not physically here does not mean they are not a part of this family. We just wish that others would realize that in 10, 20 or even 30 years there will still be a part of us missing. If they would talk to other parents who have lost a child they might finally see that when you lose a child you never forget, you never get over it and you never become normal again. You have a new normal that consists of learning to live with the loss. We as parents of Angels will never be normal again, we have a new normal where we have a child we visit in a cemetery, birthday’s we make cupcakes for but have to eat ourselves, there is nothing normal about that, but it is our normal. I wish no other parent would have to learn to live this type of normal, but unfortunately they will.

If you have not lost a child you cannot truly know what we are going thru, however you can have compassion for those who have lost a child. You must also be prepared to accept that they will never again be the same and that their normal is now different than your. The best thing you can do is be a loving, caring individual who recognizes that a way of life has been altered and that this family is now functioning in a new way that is best for them. Until you have walked a mile in our shoes (and believe me, I hope you never do) you cannot understand or even begin to understand what it feels like to lose and bury your child.