Thank you to Jordan's Grandma for this Mickey graphic!!!
I would like to thank my Ivy Tech Family for pulling together to support a cause that means so much to me.
This memorial website was created to remember "Our Baby Bean" Austin Duane Shanks who passed thru this world July 26, 2008. You will live forever in our lives and hearts.
Although you were not here for long you made an impact on hearts that will last forever!
On Christmas Eve 2007 it was confirmed that Austin Duane Shanks was on his way. We were so excited and so was Timmy, his big brother. Although Timmy was 15 at the time he so wanted a little brother. The hardest thing was the waiting. Then @ 36 weeks we were devastated to find that Austin had no heart beat. It was the worst day of our lives. As we continue on in our lives, Austin is still here with us and always will be. He is a missing piece of our family but one that will always be remembered and included. Until we are together again we carry him in our hearts everyday and will never forget that even though he did not stay long, he has made a lasting impressions on everyone's heart. One day we will have forever and we will shower him with the love we hold for him.
Thank you for visiting our Angel Austin who is loved and missed by many. We would like to thank you for being one more added to that list.
Tim & Charity Shanks
Please light a candle so Austin may always find his way home!!
IF YOU HAVE CREATED SOMETHING FOR OUR AUSTIN PLEASE ADD IT TO THE "MADE FOR AUSTIN" SECTION TO THE LEFT. POEMS, PICTURES OR ANY OTHER CREATION.
This is the only family picture I could create. A great picture created by Troy's mom, THANK YOU!!
Understanding
Our families will never be whole again. There is a missing piece, but we will go on and we will never forget that they are a part of us. Each card we send or sign will include them, either by name or by simply signing our family name, this includes our Angels. We will speak of them when we speak of any of our other children. Just because they are not physically here does not mean they are not a part of this family. We just wish that others would realize that in 10, 20 or even 30 years there will still be a part of us missing. If they would talk to other parents who have lost a child they might finally see that when you lose a child you never forget, you never get over it and you never become normal again. You have a new normal that consists of learning to live with the loss. We as parents of Angels will never be normal again, we have a new normal where we have a child we visit in a cemetery, birthday’s we make cupcakes for but have to eat ourselves, there is nothing normal about that, but it is our normal. I wish no other parent would have to learn to live this type of normal, but unfortunately they will.
If you have not lost a child you cannot truly know what we are going thru, however you can have compassion for those who have lost a child. You must also be prepared to accept that they will never again be the same and that their normal is now different than your. The best thing you can do is be a loving, caring individual who recognizes that a way of life has been altered and that this family is now functioning in a new way that is best for them. Until you have walked a mile in our shoes (and believe me, I hope you never do) you cannot understand or even begin to understand what it feels like to lose and bury your child.
Thanks to Eli's mommy for this graphic Thanks to Jordan's grandma for this graphic
Sweet Baby
Dear Sweet Baby, so perfect, so still.
The day you were born God cried for you as your parents did too.
Your journey into this world was never meant to be completed
- how painful for those who anticipated your arrival.
Your mother wept, your father wept, your aunts, uncles, and grandparents wept,
Even those who had not so looked forward to your arrival,
but helped in you into this world wept.
I hold you in my arms so perfect, so beautiful,
please�please baby wake up�.your body is limp -
how my heart aches to see you this way.
Your skin is like Ivory. Your mom holds you so close as she says goodbye�
she feels your cheek next to hers and lovingly kisses you,
then sadly turns her face as she hands you to me.
Your daddy gently takes you and rocks with his tears rolling down his face.
He is torn between saying goodbye to you and leaving his wife's side,
who is crying and bleeding.
I feel only a part of their pain. I leave to weep silently and quickly.
I must be strong for them. As they begin a journey they never anticipated.
Your mom bleeds as her tears roll down her face.
I finally take you. I want to wake you.
You lay in my arms as though you are sleeping.
As I wrap you a final time,
I can't help but to look at your perfect body and wonder "WHY?".
I know why though.
Not every baby is meant to have a journey in this world that we know.
You were not ready. You go on in a journey I can not imagine.
It hurt to finish wrapping you.
To leave you in blankets alone leaves you too vulnerable to
those who are curious to see "the baby"
so I must finish after the blankets.
I cannot take you downstairs - ohhh my heart aches,
my eyes burn from trying to not cry and be strong.
Your mother still bleeds. I know why, she has lost the most important thing to her
- her baby.
Why should her body stop bleeding?
If she will slow down until she can see she must do as your dad is doing.
To look beyond, to see her husband is here.
He is to live for now, until she can live for herself, again .
Maybe, hopefully, someday, they can anticipate again.
With tears of joy rather than sorrow after the labor of birth.
But it never fails to bring music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
let me hear the music of her name!
It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul!
~Author Unknown ~
She never did before
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is,
She'll say"I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night ?
Ask my Mom how she is
She seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken
She'll love me all her life
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say,
"You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!"
I waited for eternity and I was filled with doom.
But then one day I realized that God had heard my prayer,
My heart was filled with happiness when I found out you were there.
I told the world about you, how you'd finally come to me,
You touched the lives of all of us In that time you stayed with me.
We wondered who you'd look like, we even chose your name,
From the moment that I knew you things were not the same again.
I wondered if your hair was fair and if your eyes were blue,
Were you a boy or a little girl? I had such plans for you.
I loved you every minute of every day that passed.
I should have known such happiness could never really last.
For just a short while later, God called you from above,
He needed my dear Angel In his nursery up above.
My heart was deeply saddened when I lost you, little one,
My life felt very empty when I knew that you had gone.
You must have been too precious to walk this earth with me,
You wasn't meant to feel pain or ever hurt, you see.
I know you're playing happily In Heaven's nursery up above,
And I know that you can feel that I've sent you all my love.
So play on and be happy with your family up there too,
For life on earth is very short and soon I'll be with you.
A feeling that's filled my entire heart.
I went through the labor and suffered the pain,
For many long hours with nothing to gain.
I've spent sleepless nights being awake,
Though it's been a while my arms they still ache.
I've sat and I've wondered of how he would grow,
The love of my family that he'd come to know.
The sound of his voice as he learns to talk,
Watching his steps as he tries to walk.
I have a child that I really love so,
I am his mother yet nobody knows.
I've spent all these months feeling him grow,
I've lived through it all and have nothing to show.
I don't get invited to chat with young mothers,
Because I don't have a baby like all of the others.
I've got some stretch marks that I'd like to hide,
but I don't have a pram with a baby inside.
The people I've known for so many years,
Avoid me now, which adds to my tears.
I don't know how long I'll be feeling like this,
But one thing I know, my baby I miss.
When Mother's day comes it will be very hard,
I won't have any flowers, not even a card.
And just because he's not here with me,
I still have a son I wish I could see.
But one thing I know and this is for sure,
I'll be his mother forevermore!
and prayed to God today. I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard Him say,
A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true. But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you? Yes you can! He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice."Some I send for a lifetime
and other's for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile
with other children and say, We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillows where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."So you see
my dear sweet one,
your children are OK. Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on that day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until their time is done.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you're the best one.
and prayed to God today. I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard Him say,
A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true. But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you? Yes you can! He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice."Some I send for a lifetime
and other's for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile
with other children and say, We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillows where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."So you see
my dear sweet one,
your children are OK. Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on that day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until their time is done.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you're the best one.
My daddy is a survivor too
which is no surprise to me.
He's always been like a lighthouse
that helps you cross a stormy sea.
But, I walk with my daddy each day
to lift him when he's down.
I wipe the tears he hides from others;
He cries when no one's around.
I watch him sit up late at night
with my picture in his hand.
He cries as he tries to grieve alone,
and wishes he could understand.
My daddy is like a tower of strength.
He's the greatest of them all! But,
there are times when he needs to cry...
Please be there when he falls.
Hold his hand or pat his shoulder...
And tell him it's okay.
Be his strength when he's sad,
Help him mourn in his own way.
Now, as I watch over my precious daddy
from the Heavens up above...
I'm so proud that he's a survivor...
And, I can still feel his love.
I was so excited when I woke up today
I heard my Daddy was coming to play
I washed my wings and my halo too
because that's what Daddy likes me to do
I went to the place where I knew he'd be
It's where he comes to visit me
He comes for comfort in his despair
Oh Daddy, can't you feel me touching your hair?
I'm by your side all through the night
I never let you out of my sight
I was your baby for only a few days
But soon we can be together and play
You know we'll never be apart
You'll never let me leave your heart
Daddy I'm not really in the ground,
lift your head and look around
The clouds, the birds, the raindrops too
these gifts of life were given to you
Don't cry for me Daddy, I know you're here
Please let me wipe away your tears.
I was sent to you from up above
And you showed me the ultimate love
Instead of giving me all of your years
You freely gave me all of your tears
Remember your relatives, the ones who have died?
They brought me here, I'm by their side
They watch over me and help me to see
Just how much you really love me
So don't be unhappy when you come visit me
I'm the angel above you, up in the tree
And when you leave, you'll never be through
You'll always be my Daddy
And I'll always love you.
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