I never got to hear you laugh
you never saw me cry
didn’t get a chance to say "Hello"
you never said "Goodbye"
I didn't think that I could feel
so sad, lost and forlorn.
I never knew God chose his Angels
before some of them were born.
Your life was short yet special
I shared it all exclusively
I felt you breathe, I felt you kick.
You were alive inside of me.
Every baby is an Angel
and every angel is divine
God needed one in heaven
He came down and took mine
And although we are not together
we're not really apart
for you'll always occupy a space
deep within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain
It's only some days now I cry.
When I wish I could have said "Hello"
and heard you say "Goodbye"

I stood beside your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
quietly in your sleep.

I touched you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour coffee,
You were thinking of how much you
love and long to hold me.

I was with you at the store today,
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you,
that I'm not really there.

I walked with you to the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you,
I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be
so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then
smiled, I think you knew,
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over, I smile and watch
you yawning and say
"goodnight, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you
to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and
we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to
show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out
then come home to be with me.

It is I whose kicks you will always remember,

                  I who gave you heartburn that a dragon would envy,

     I who couldn't seem to tell time and got your days and nights mixed up.

            It is I who acknowledged your craving for peach ice cream by

                            knocking the cold bowl off  your belly,

 I who went shopping and helped you pick out the "perfect" teddy bear for me,

                I who liked to be cradled in your belly and rocked off to

                                    dreamy slumber by the fire,

                    It is I who never had a doubt about your love,

               It is I who was able to put a lifetime of joy into an instant.

                                                                   -Pat Schwiebert

This poem written for Shane Walker by his mother sums up exactly how I feel

Don't Tell Me

Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don?t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don?t tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

Judi Walker
(In Memory of Shane)
Copyright 1998

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

Author Unknown